I am afraid of newborns.

Yes, it's true. They scare the life out of me. Don't get me wrong, I love my babies more than life itself from the moment they are conceived, and after they are born, I think they are the sweetest, most beautiful children God has ever created. But alongside that love is terror! Newborns rattle me to the core!

 They sleep and yet they don't sleep. They keep you up for hours on end in the middle of the lonely night and then won't wake up to eat during the day, and when they scream, sometimes you can console them and sometimes you can't. Rarely do you know what's wrong with them if they aren't screaming from hunger or a dirty diaper. 

Bottom line is, I feel OUT OF CONTROL when I have a newborn in my possession, and feeling out of control is the worst possible feeling for a type A, ducks in a row, orderly person. You can't MAKE a newborn eat, sleep at certain times, or stop crying....nuff said. I don't like that. How's that for being honest? The day my babies start becoming a little predictable...usually around 2-4 months, I become a happy camper...when I can get a little sleep and feel like I know my child and what he/she needs, life gets much less anxious.

So since I am about to have another newborn! Ahhhh! Only 9 weeks away. I thought I would jot down a few helpful newborn tips for my own remembering as well as for those moms out there who might have one on their hands right now or in the near future.

P.S. I realize not everyone will agree with what I am saying...just my personal advice...feel free to take it or leave it. No offense taken!

1. Sleeping: Okay, starting with the biggie first! Most newborns are pretty sleepy the first two weeks, and then suddenly around week 2 or 3, they begin to "wake up." They get fussier, wake more often between feedings, some begin getting really fussy in the late afternoon, and even having some long fussy nights. 

So what do you do? First of all, don't start picking up books!!! They will simply tell you
how to" fix your baby" by putting him on this schedule or that one, and when it doesn't work, you will stress!

Secondly, just roll with it. Nothing your baby does or doesn't do right now is ruining his sleep habits for life. Just get through the first two months as best you can, and when he is a little bit older (usually around 12 pounds in weight), you can really start to focus on getting him to sleep through the night and then work on naps a little later...I usually get serious about naps around four months.

2. Feeding: I feel like I am semi well rounded in the feeding department because with both of my boys, I nursed them in the beginning (about a month or so) and then switched to formula for different reasons. The most important info about feeding is to try to stick to a 2-3 hour feeding schedule (3 hours is the goal) as much a possible. Don't stress out over it, but if you can get him on a good feeding schedule, it REALLY seems to help with the baby's sleep and also knowing what's wrong when he is crying.

As far as nursing verses formula, here is my advice to all those to ask me: Give nursing your best shot and if you push through the first two painful weeks with Lanolin as your best friend, and it gets better, then awesome! It's free and perfect for your baby and such a blessing to be able to nurse.

But if it's stressing you out or just not working out (tongue tied baby, low milk supply, milk allergy, etc.), then formula is a fantastic and perfectly fine option. My boys had way more formula than breast milk, and they are smart, beautiful, and healthy. 

Whatever happens, God is bigger than boobies as my friend Lindsey says, and in the long run, it really doesn't matter how you fed your child as an infant. What matters is that you loved him, nurtured him, and raised him to love Jesus. It's just that simple...try not to complicate it with all those raging hormones! :)

3. Swaddling: My babies loved the swaddle for the first six weeks. Get some light weight blankets (Target) not the thick heavy ones. I would recommend breaking the swaddle sooner than later. I wouldn't go much past a couple of months just because several of my friends have had a horrible time breaking the habit. Also, in the middle of the night, put gowns on your baby. Snaps and zippers are for the birds at 3am!

4. Paci/Thumb: They are a blessing and a curse. From my own experience, I would push the paci over the thumb! It's just the lesser of two evils...both have to be broken one day, but the paci is much easier to break. But if your baby doesn't take either, even better! 

5. Give the baby a bath before putting him down for the night. It's a great cue that it's bed time, and I think it really helped get us in a routine.

6. Witching hour (inevitably when you are trying to get dinner going): The best solution I found for this is to wear my babies in a baby carrier or sling. It wasn't a cure by any means, but it seems to be the most help. If your husband comes home in time, then let him wear the baby while you cook dinner...or even better, drive the baby around the block in the car seat just to give a few minutes of silence and allow you to finish up dinner. Or just have him stroll the baby around the block for a little bit. It just helps to have a few silent moments with the baby outside the house during those tough evening hours before facing the nighttime duties of waking up and feeding.

7. Postpartum: Just survive it! My emotions are always off the wall crazy for the first 6-8 weeks. I am anxious and teary, and I just plain struggle. What helped me the most was talking about it...mostly to my mom and best friend. Don't try to act like everything is perfect and fine...if it's hard, say it's hard. There's something therapeutic about being real and honest and just verbally saying you are struggling. If you need more help than just verbalizing it, then talk to your OBGYN....there is no shame in medication to get you through a hard time. It may just be you need something as simple as birth control to level you back out hormonally. Bottom line: Don't be prideful. Don't be embarrassed. Everybody and I mean everybody will tell you the first few months after bringing a baby home are insanely hard. Lean on the Lord and know that it WILL get better...I promise.

7. Ask for help: It's what friends and family are for. And believe me, they really do want to help. Don't you want your friends to call you when they need help? Of course you do! Ask your mom to run and get your groceries, ask your BF to take your older children for an hour, ask your mother in law to pick up Chickfila for your kids' lunch, ask your husband to come home an hour early or get up with the baby in the morning so you can sleep and extra hour. Don't try to do it alone. It takes a village to raise a kiddo. And by all means when people offer to bring you meals, say YES!

8. Shower: Take a long shower or bath everyday. I know that sounds super trivial, but it's not. It makes ALL the difference in your outlook and attitude when you feel clean. Also, it may be the only 15 minutes you are alone all. day. long! It will probably be the only time you can say a few focused prayers and maybe even meditate on a verse for a minute or two. I even go as far as making myself put on more than a t-shirt every now and then after the first month. A little mascara and a normal shirt (make sure it's a baggy one that doesn't make you feel fat!) can brighten the whole day.

9. Give yourself grace: Don't try to do much outside the home. Take this time to focus on your family and your home. Believe me, you will have plenty on your plate! Turn down outside commitments and demands and don't feel bad about it. 

10. And lastly...if you can, get out of the house. Go to the park for 30 minutes. Go to Walmart and get one item. Stroll through Target. Go visit your BF. Or simply just take a drive. The best time to leave the house is when everything seems to be falling apart. When everyone is melting down...including yourself, load them all up and go. The change of scenery seems to do the trick everytime, and when you come home, you can all start over. I still do this and my kids are 4 and 2!

I feel like I could write for days, but that's it for now. I have a special place in my heart for new moms and/or any mom with a newborn mainly because it wasn't easy for me, and I am about to experience ROUND 3!

If it's not easy for you, then know you are not alone. Soak up the sweet, calm moments and try not to let the chaotic, not so pretty moments get to you. Babies are such a blessing, and the time really does fly.

Wishing all you mamas the best!