The Small Things

Here we are at the boys' Thanksgiving Feast at their school. I love their school. I love their teachers. It's such a blessing. It's just two short mornings a week, but it's just enough so that everyone gets a break from each other, and Mama can get some things done around the house! 

Grammy, Pop, and Uncle Stephen came to visit for Thanksgiving. We had a great feast and great fellowship. The only rough part was Carter's behavior. He seemed so excited when they arrived, but slowly he started getting grumpier and grumpier. He was crying and whining constantly and even pitching a few tantrums. I was perplexed! Why was he acting like such a brat?! Finally, Friday morning I took him to the doctor only to find out he has strep and an ear infection! Is it bad to say I was relieved? I mean he wouldn't even let me leave the room without crying for me! I was about at wit's end by the end of the weekend. Poor Grammy and Pop had to listen to his whining all weekend! Thankfully he is a new kiddo today and back to his happy self, but I took Coop in this morning, and now he has strep. Ugh.

Here was one of the few smiles from the weekend.

Playing "Fumble" with Dada. Daily occurence since it's football season.

Warning: Mom Blab below:

Lately, I have really been struggling with sweating the small things in life. I don't know why. I really wish I was one of those people who didn't worry. Before I had kids, I was one of those people! But ever since I had these two little stinkers, I have had a hard time "letting go and letting God." Carter has really had a few hiccups lately with is separation anxiety and this has really shown me my lack of truly trusting the Lord in all things. There is no rhyme or reason to his separation anxiety. Sometimes he has it, sometimes he doesn't. He was doing soooo well all fall, and all of the sudden he has had a few bumps in the road...almost always at church. Two different times in the last two weeks, he has cried and cried for us during church. Also, he has been crying when I leave to just go run a few errands! And like I said, when he was sick, he didn't even want me to leave the room (although, that was excusable since he was feeling so bad.) I really, really, really want to just trust God with this. Why does Carter struggle so much with separation? I ALWAYS come back for him. I have never lost him before! This has been going on for almost 2 years. Why does he still struggle with this? I know God is in control, and I believe with all my heart that God is doing ALL of this for a reason and for our good, but man oh man, I am struggling to hold onto God's peace. I find myself dreading the next drop off, and even lying in bed sometimes thinking about why he struggles with this so much. I know it's a small thing compared to what a lot of people struggle with. Carter is healthy and happy and smart and beautiful and fun, and he isn't in St. Jude. He doesn't have a disease, and he loves life, but being a mom, I just want everything to be easy and perfect for my babies. But that's not life. If you think about it, would you pray that God would give Carter security and courage? I so badly want God to deliver him from this. I want him to be secure and not fearful. I want him to explore and not worry about where Mama is. Mostly I just want him to feel safe. Would you pray for him? And would you pray for me that I would not sweat this small things?! God loves me, and I am bound for the promised land, so why do I make small things so big?!!!! Ugh. I really want to trust God more. I want to hand this burden over to Him and NEVER TAKE IT BACK!

Thanks for listening :)

Jill